warning! the softest tp isn't always!

ok, I don't know what the blog rules are... can a company sue me if i talk about their product online? just in case, i'm going to do some ranting and raving, or, i suppose it is technically raving and ranting, about a product that we are very particular about. and I will call it by an alias, so as to protect the company from any slanderous ideas it might have. So, just so you all know, I AM NOT using the actual name of the toilet paper coming in the following story. The names have been changed to protect big business in America. From a little ranting blogger in Ocean View. Okay, now the story...

There is nothing more important about toilet paper than softness. I don't know about you, but we have found the absolute softest tp on the market. Charming (name fake to protect big business). We have tried bargain brands, Devil Soft (must be soft, because soft is in the name) but Charming is the softest of all. We even buy "ultra soft" Charming tp. Still wonderful, big roll. Well, the Charming company made a BIG mistake. We accidently bought a multi (like 64 rolls) pack of "ultra STRONG" Charming. Knowing it was Charming brand, we just thought it would be strong AND soft. Ha! No way! And I, for one, am NOT willing to sacrifice softness for strength! TP has to be strong enough, doesn't have to be stronger than necessary, but can NEVER be too soft! Who needs it as strong as paper towels? And as rough? So, you out there who, like me, want softness in your tp, do not buy the 'ultra-strong' version of our beloved Charming! Stick to regular or 'ultra-soft,' who still are the best on the market. Protect your ass.